Being Proactive, or how this situation could never have come to pass

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This method is highkey a callout SPECIFICALLY for one Elrond Halfelven, former herald to High King Gil-galad and Lord of Imladris, who despite his many years suffered a sudden lack of wisdom and threw the chance he had to prevent the second war away instead of the Ring.

  1. Happen to find yourself in a position where you and Isildur, king of Gondor, are on a tiny ledge above the lava in Mount Doom and Isildur is holding the One Ring, which is specifically designed to corrupt, as you know very well.

  2. Yell at Isildur to destroy the Ring, and Sauron's essence with it, by casting it into the fire

  3. He refuses. To throw away the immensely powerful object that, once again, is specifically designed to make the bearer treasure it above all else. How could he. Even with your power of foresight, you are truly shocked and astonished. As are we all at this flawless plan going so wrong.

  4. Honestly, what did you expect?

  5. He is a human. And for all intents and purposes, you are... an elf. A grown one, no less. You can take him. You could take literally any singular human, whether of Númenor or not, in any kind of physical fight. Stop worrying about your hair and wrestle him for that thing. (Oh, and don't fall into the lava if you can avoid it. Isildur's human, if he dies he can't just pop back later.)

  6. Failing an easy way to take the ring away from Isildur... you do happen to have the aforementioned gift of foresight. Go on, look forward an age or so. The Siege of Gondor. The Battle of the Pelennor Fields. The Scouring of the Shire. Tally the dead. Would you say that that number is greater than one?

  7. We know you can count, Elrond. It is. And Isil's already got an heir, so succession won't be a problem.

  8. To clarify, I'm telling you to drop-kick him. Yeet Isildur. Into the lava. Or wrestle him into it by accident, if you don't mind dying a fiery death. It's not ideal (and by "it" we mean Isildur's death, you'll be back sooner or later anyway), but as you have MOST CERTAINLY used your magical powers of seeing the future to learn of the consequences of not doing this, you will. Right?

  9. For future reference, perhaps consult the Lady Galadriel before making any more of your... brilliant plans.
Disappointed in your workplace relationships

  1. Building healthy connections with one's colleagues at work is important.

  2. Which begs the question...

  3. Did not a single one of the other Maiar notice what was going on with Mairon and Morgoth??

  4. Honestly, could none of you have talked Mairon out of joining the dark side? We wouldn't have had this problem in the first place if someone had bothered to combat Morgoth's influence! And just imagine how much easier it would have been to take Morgoth out minus one of his most powerful lieutenants!

  5. Then again, no one's ever been particularly good about trying to resist Morgoth with anything besides a sword. I don't know why I even try at this point.

  6. EXCEPT!

  7. Melian could have taken Sauron. Easily.

  8. But she didn't, despite her daughter fighting Sauron' mentor and not even dying. No words. See Damage Control.
And while we're on the subject... a possible solution to be enacted by one SPECIFIC Maia who is meant to be wise. Theoretically. Although tests have as of yet been inconclusive at best, and refuted this assumption at worst.

  1. So. Gandalf. If we recall correctly, you, along with the other Istari, were sent to Middle-earth by the Valar to combat Sauron and his influence, and eventually find a way to defeat him.

  2. Now, it's true that you did the most out of them regarding your actual job. Thank you for not immediately doing the exact opposite of your duty. Unlike Saruman, whose resemblance to a petulant toddler who wants the bigger toy is truly remarkable at times. And we suppose Radagast tried. The Blue Wizards, however... no excuse. It wasn't meant to be a vacation, for Eru's sake.

    3. the istari

    For Reference

    Istar Saruman Gandalf Radagast Blue 1, or Alatar Blue 2, or Pallando
    Degree of Helpfulness on a Scale of One to Ten solid -12, actively contributed to the problem 8, tried and did alright- stellar when compared to the others 5, fell for Saruman's tricks but gets points for effort 2. Supposedly doing something in the southeast, but unsure what and it didn't seem to help much See Alatar.

  3. Anyway, back to the point. You knew about the existence and power of the One Ring, yes? Isildur defeated Sauron by removing it at the end of the Second Age. Being sent to Middle-earth during the Third, you knew about it and its powers.

  4. The powers being an unnatural lengthening of the wearer's life and a desire above all to keep it for themselves.

  5. So let's break down a few instances where anyone with that basic knowledge and an ounce of common sense would have realized that the ring in front of them belonged to Sauron.

    • First- possibly, just maybe, you might have noticed something familiar about Bilbo's description of Gollum in his original story. When he finally admitted the existence of the ring, explaining away the edited version of the story with his (odd- hobbits could not care less about treasure and you know this! It's literally why you hired Bilbo in the first place, Gandalf, do better!) desire to lay an indisputable claim on it for himself, that should have clued you in. That's if you somehow missed what the Ring had done to Gollum- oh wait, you did.

    • Failing that, it really should have become apparent when Bilbo had barely aged in sixty years. And then when he was incredibly reluctant to give up the ring, which we hope you know (unlike Elrond) drives the bearer to want it above all else.

    • At this point, the only course of action would have been to grab the ring and Shadowfax and be at Mount Doom within the month. Or, if you were so worried about falling prey to the ring, at least taken the issue to Rivendell and assembled the Fellowship earlier.

    • But no. You left poor Frodo with one vague warning about the dangers of using the ring and promptly left for seventeen years to go get Starbucks. Seriously, it's just a ring. Even if it isn't the One, well- better safe than sorry! Throw it into the volcano anyway. And given the effects it's had on its bearers to date, it would really be best for it to dissolve into a small puddle of lava, whether Sauron's or not.